Though my Godlike status of omniscience is flattering, I find it mostly tiring! Especially when the kids are home from school. Do I look like I'm omniscient? As soon as the kids get out of bed it starts with: 'What's for dinner today, mommy?' Followed closely by: Are we there yet? Mommy did you see...
I was suffering from acute cabin fever. So I decided to google 'nice outings with kids'. I got 21.500.000 results. To narrow it down a bit, I decided to add some criteria: dirt cheap suitable for five kids, and one overwrought mom suffering from cabin fever relaxing for mom Excitedly I pushed 'search' and got: 'Your...
You use spit to clean up your kids, and the windows. You're a regular on home.com, because you're desperate for a house to come on the market in Teletubbyland. You really want to live there, because of the peace and quiet. You have thighs of steel, because you always pee hanging above the toilet, since...
I'm very low maintenance, you know!' I like to tell my husband. 'I don't desire expensive holidays or expensive clothes. Just give me a Big Mac or two, or three, or maybe four, and I'm a happy woman.' You're very lucky with me as your wife And to make sure he gets my drift, I...
As a stay-at-home-mom nothing fazes me. No mountain is too high, or too rugged to climb. Nor do I shrink back from some breaking and entering. Because to 'stay at home' you have to bé home first. Shut myself out Because today, one of my biggest fears came true: I accidentally shut myself out of...
'If you participated in Style by Jury*, they would change a lot about you,' my husband suddenly declared, while spreading his sandwich with a thick layer of peanut butter. 'How's that?' 'Well, look at yourself!' Style by husband 'Perhaps my hair,' I agreed. He nodded enthusiastically. 'And different clothes!' But now his sudden interest in...
My husband loves word jokes, and even after fifteen years of marriage, they still catch me by unpleasant surprise. Word jokes So when he told me in a sad voice: 'Your Google earnings today are nothing to write home about,' I was worried. 'Are they very bad?' I asked, because the last time he spoke...
There are some words I'm not fond off. Like 'No', 'Not now' and 'I'll do it later!' To avoid these words I've trained myself to ask the ríght questions, so I'll get the ríght answer. Yesterday I wanted my son to do his homework. But I didn't say: 'Go and do you homework!' Parenting 101...
Dear family and friends, and vague acquaintances. We are gathered here today, to say our final farewell to Babyborn. Despite a very clear user manual, someone found it necessary to give Babyborn a bubble bath. Babyborn was a loner, and sometimes months went without any word from her. But Babyborn wasn't a natural loner, she...
One of the things that change when you become a mom, is that solitude becomes something that's rare. You can't even go to the toilet in peace.... Or hide out there. They'll always find you.
