Breaking and entering

As a mom you have to be up for anything. Breaking and entering for example.

Today one of my biggest fears came through: I accidentally shut myself out of the house. And with no spare key in sight, a long and cold afternoon lay ahead. I looked longingly through the kitchen window, but of course, no one was home.

Luckily I paid close attention as a kid when I watched The A-Team! I decided to take some action A-team style. With the help of a gardening tool I managed to open the locked gate to our garden, thus gaining acces to our bedroom window, which I knew to be wide open. Triumphantly I grabbed the kitchen stairs and climbed up. But both me and the kitchen stairs fell short.

My eye fell on the mini trampoline of the kids, but I had to concede there was no way I could jump up several feet, and then tumble my way through a window. Not without some Tena Lady anyway.

Luckily inspiration struck: there are a lot of screw drivers in the garden shed, so I climbed down my stairs and grabbed a bunch of those and ran to the kitchen window.

I screwed all my screws loose and felt a lovely rush of adrenaline. Breaking and entering is such a rush!

Having succesfully sabotaged the kitchen window it was time for part two of my brilliant plan. I pushed my head through the window, and wriggled my body after it. For one panicky moment I feared getting stuck, when my feet were helplessly dangling outside and my bosom hugged the countertops, but despair gave me a boost and finally I was inside!

Joyfully I set foot on our kitchen floor and proudly declared: ‘A small step for mankind, a big step for me!’

To celebrate I put on the kettle to make a nice cup of hot tea. And then I grabbed the yellow pages to find a security company.

Because obviously, the security around our house stinks!

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5 reacties

  1. Ha ha ha!! I have done that too… getting locked out is no fun. Luckily, when I "broke into our home" our dog knew it wasn't really an intruder. But it does make you wonder how secure your home really is… Great post!!

  2. I have to admit to making use of the cat flap in the back door more than once, and having a small child crawl through it to open the front door for me! Cat flap is gone now and children are too big now anyway.

  3. omg I have never laughed so hard. I love your style of writing. Last summer we had to break in via the carport room, using our van, our ten year old, and me watching on in horror hoping he didn't fall as he scrambled through the upper bedroom window. Now the window is locked with an extra bolt, stick and some screws so nobody else gets the same bright idea!

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