Self Portrait: After Summer Vacation

Hi, we're Bert, Barry and Brian! My cousin Hank is a butcher by trade. He's got his own pen. Usually he's got about three pigs in there, having a great life. And when they're nice and fat, my cousin Hank takes them on a trip, and butchers them. And then the whole family eats them....

Even though I find it unpleasant, I always take care to go in for my pap smear. Because I know it's important. And could potentially be live saving. Cancer is scary. So whatever I can do to avoid it, I will. So I was very happy when Imran offered to share information about the things...

My youngest sister is getting married in May. My other sister and me will be her maids of honor. Red jersey dress with polkadots not fancy enough? So now I have to figure out what I'm going to wear. I don't want to spend a lot of money. So I bought myself this red jersey...

It all started with my moleskine notepad. I really loved it. I loved how it had the days of the week one one side, and room for notes on the other side. But then I saw this big, tall, bad boy. His name was Filofax.  I was impressed by his size. He was A4. Suddenly...

I was taking my son Piet for his swimming lessons for the umpteenth time, feeling numb with boredom, when he suddenly said: 'Daddy is very naughty!' 'Oh yeah?' I said distractedly, because I was busy feeling sorry for myself. 'Daddy uses lots of naught words' 'Yes, daddy uses lots of naughty words when the other...

I was wandering through a Walmart lookalike shop, looking for things I didn't know I needed, when this German family crossed my path. The mom only had eyes for the merchandise, so the dad was condemned to the role of Lone Parent. You can look, but please don't touch! As they passed the glassware he...