I was sitting at the therapist's office with my eldest son. He was diagnosed with PDD-NOS when he was eleven, and when he hit puberty he had some trouble remembering the meaning of life. Of course I tóld him what the meaning of life was, but he wasn't impressed. So I took him so see...
Deep down I've always known: I should have been the mom of one of those nature children. You know, the kind that plays outside all day? The fact that my kids are glued to their WII, Computer and Nintendo's, is obviously the result of too much city living. So now that we live in the...
Moving house is a process. A process in which you have to let go of the old, and embrace the new. Because I felt it was important the kids were aware of this process, I felt it was my maternal duty to remind them about our upcoming move. Repetitively. So when I served them macaroni...
I'm surrounded by little people who fondle themselves in public. They don't even try to hide they're cheating during board games, and they shop for candy without paying if I don't pay attention. They show me their new underpants without any shame, and they share their intimate toilet habits with me. They're often hard to...
The kids' longing for a pet is like nits: the minute you start to relax they pop up again. So this morning I performed the classicical play: 'Kid wants a pet, but mom doesn't'. My co-star was my son Ot (10), who can be summed up by the slogan of a Malibu Rum commercial. He's...
When your child goes on a school field trip, or heads of to camp, it is very important to hide your motherly doubts and fears in a place deep inside of you, so as not to bother your kid with yóúr bagage. Fail The mom in picture 1A has not understood this important principle. She...
• Play Beauty parlor, with you as the client. Be sure to remove all permanent markers first! • Play hairsalon, with you as the client. Remove all scissors that still work! • Play Tattoo parlor, with you as the client. You had already removed all permanent markers. Right?! • Let your kids read to yóú,...
Just when you think you've hit rock bottom with your kids, they surprise you. 'Mommy, tell Pete he's not allowed to walk over my shadow!' Nów you've hit rock bottom.
Sounds that require immediate action on your part: The scraping sound of a kitchen chair, pushed across the kitchen floor. The rustling sound of candy, secretively being unwrapped. A door that is closed ever so gently. But above all, these words: 'Mom, I'm not doing anything!' So if you'll excuse me!
As a mom of five kids, who like to talk to me all at the same time, I'm very fond of Universal Answers. That way they all feel like I've given them the time of day, and no one feels neglected. Take for example the universal: 'Uh-huh'. But 'Hmhm' also deserves a mention! The more...
