Motherhood has made me vulnerable. And since I’ve got five children my vulnerability is multiplied by 5. So whenever I hear the sound of an ambulance, or the phone rings at an odd time, I worry.
And when teacher call me and ask: ‘Are you sitting down? I would like to talk to you for moment,’ my legs go all wobbly. Because these phone calls are usually not to tell me something nice…
‘Do you have a moment? I’ld like to have word.’
There was a time when I was walking my youngest son to his classroom, when suddenly his teacher popped up and said to me: ‘Do you have a moment? I’ld like to have a word.’
Everything around me turned quiet, and I felt my whole life flash before me. There I was eating chocolate, there I was eating some more chocolate and there I was eating a chocolate Easter Bunny.
While I was enjoying my flashback the teacher worriedly put her hand on my arm, and said in reassuring tones: ‘Don’t worry! It’s nothing serious. And even if it was serious, it would be alright.’
Okay, I’m ready.
So I took a series of deep breaths, and put my head between my knees for good measure. Then I looked up and said: ‘Okay, tell me. I’m ready!’
‘Well, I noticed your son pronounces the letter ‘l’ in a special way. That’s all.’
Obviously my son is fine, but clearly I suffer from severe School Traumatic Stress Syndrome.